童真。幸福。

童真


见我更衣准备出门，大儿子跑来问道：

儿子：Daddy, 你要去哪里？

我：我要去冲洗照片。

儿子：Daddy, 照片会不会 wet?

我：。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。




糗


出门回到家，见2岁小女儿在喝汤，我问道：

我：好吃吗？

女儿：不是“吃“，是“喝“！

我：。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Gift Card Contest Time

Charity Lynn is running a blog contest where a lucky winner stands to win a $20 gift card of your choice of the following:

Chili’s
The Olive Garden
Red Robin
Starbucks
Wal-Mart
Target
Barnes & Noble
Hot Topic
Amazon.com

Now if you don’t have any of these places near you, or if you live somewhere they don’t ship, then it will be Amazon.com gift card or $20 USD via PayPal.

How to enter

- comment on the contest post to gain one entry.
- to double your chance of winning, you can also blog about the contest first and then leave a comment with a link to your entry - this gets you 2 entries.

This contest will run until 12:00AM Central Time on April 29, 2008. On April 30, 2008, one lucky winner will be randomly drawn using Random.org. Good luck everyone!

Sound Advice

As oil price soar to record highs, coming close to $120 a barrel, here's a best piece of advice I want to give you (for free).



This is probably the only time where the advice "Drink, Don't Drive" is economically motivated rather than a piece of good old safety advice.

Diplomatic Confusion

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Gone In 49 Seconds

The much anticipated findings of the Committee of Inquiry (COI) on Mas Selamat's escape from the Whitley Road Detention Centre were presented by Deputy Prime Minister and Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng in Parliament.

The Executive Summary of the report concluded that a confluence of three critical factors led to security lapses, enabling the JI detainee to escape.

-The Gurkha Contingent guard escorting Mas Selamat did not stop Mas Selamat from closing the urinal cubicle door in the Family Visitation Block toilet;

-The ventilation window in the urinal cubicle had not been secured by grilles (seen here in the photo); and

-The weakness in the perimeter fencing where the outer and inner perimeter fences converged with an enclosed staircase and walkway leading to the Family Visitation Block was not detected.

In a re-enactment requested by the COI, a Gurkha guard took 49 seconds to retrace Mas Selamat’s possible escape route from the detention centre.

That was it? A grill-less toilet window, some complacent guards and physical lapses presented the fugitive his chance to be on the run for the last 8 weeks.

Granted no system is perfect and fool-proof. But what are the chances that these imperfections lining up perfectly for such a farce to happen? It's happened, so what to do?

NEWater Tasting

Finally got a chance to taste the famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) NEWater - a product of PUB.Although the label read:

NEWater is crystal clear drinking water produced by advance water purification and membrane technologies.

To some skeptics, this is purified pee, covered up in the glorified name of recycled water.

NEWater comes in the form of 350ml and tasted like any other mineral water you can find in the market. Cost of NEWater - Pricelss. It cannot be purchased off the shelves and are only given out as souvenirs.

The Funeral

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?'

'My wife's.'

'What happened to her?'

The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her.'

He inquired further, 'But who is in the second hearse?'

The man answered, 'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.'

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

'Can I borrow the dog?'


'Get in line!!!!!'

The True Meaning of

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by the bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Award Winning Shopping Cart Software

If you are thinking of opening an online store or starting a e-commerce site to sell your wares online and hope to reap millions, you are facing a very high entry barrier. There are millions of consumers globally shopping and spending their money online and there are also thousands (if not millions) of online stores vying for their attention.

The difference in success between your store and those of your competitors do not just hinge on having a killer product or products but also how your site is optimized for a fuzz-free online shopping experience for your customers.

Ashop Commerce is a world-class provider of hosted shopping cart software, internet programming and digital imaging who cater toward small to medium sized businesses that are looking to build or simply start their online division of business. It offers a complete solution for merchants to sell online with its innovative ecommerce software and service combined with affordable start up and running costs make this possible to help them turn internet presence into profit.

Xbox360 Elite plus a copy of GTA4 Giveaway Contest

The latest contest to come out of the barnyard this April is an Xbox360 Elite plus a copy of GTA4 giveaway contest. This sweet prize bundle is sponsored by Top Hosting Center which is the new web host of John Cow dot com.

The Xbox360 is the console of choice for the famous cow, look up on XBOX Live with gamertag JohnCowdotCom if you want to engage in a virtual duel with the cow. Over at the barnyard, you can expect nothing but the best. Best fresh milk served daily, best blog name, best prizes offered in contest.

Let’s get back to the contest proper and see how we can enter. The winner will be picked via a lottery and you can choose how many tickets that you have in the draw! The more tickets that you have, the greater chance of winning! Here’s how to get your tickets:

250 tickets - Write a 100 words (minimum) post about this contest on your blog, making sure you linkback to the prize sponsor and to the contest post so your readers can find it.

250 tickets - Become an affiliate with THC for free and put up one of their banners on your blog. Affiliates earn 50% commission with each sales made and with a few sales, you can get your own Xbox360.

25 tickets - Every comment you leave on another blog’s latest post about this contest will get you 25 tickets, as will leaving this link in a new forum thread somewhere, or when you mass message your myspace or facebook friends. Perhaps even use Twitter to let all your followers know.

25 tickets – Subscribe to JohnCow RSS feed and THC’s blog feed.

The contest will run until the 30th of April, good luck folks!