Dec 29, 2010

Pilots VS Mechanics

A friend emailed the following to me, I thought I would share with you....

It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews, albeit they may lack a formal higher education, has ever lacked a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode has a 200 ft. per min. descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF IS inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft acting funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.


mary said...

I didn't know it's enough to have a high school diploma for this....

The answers were so good :) I love it.

Wes Towers said...

Hahaha...This really cracked me up. A cool and fun read to start my year. Thanks for sharing :)

Web design Singapore said...

Good analyze every points clearly and meaningfully are given. Thanks

Cheap Flyer said...

OMG, that is the most funny post I've read so far! :D These should be posted as jokes on a jokes-website! Seriously! They are really good! :D Hilarious!

negocio desde casa said...

HAHAHA those are funny Pilot and mechanic sayings!!! :)

Russell Davison said...

I worked in the aircraft engine industry for 12 years and these comments really made me smile.

Corporate Logo Design said...

Like this brilliant conversation between them.
thanks for share the interesting post.
I love this blog and i subscribe it also.

logo design sydney said...

Absolutely hillarious...thanks