Feb 25, 2009

Messy Dominos

Nice idea of a video but someone's gonna have a lot of cleaning up to do.

Feb 23, 2009

Toilet Poems

Graffiti 1
Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole
the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or
shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this....
Washroom Graffiti 2
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Some one who had a different experience wrote
Washroom Graffiti 3
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it is true that people get inspiration in toilets
Washroom Graffiti 4
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose
Washroom Graffiti 5
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls are also job advertisement places.......
Washroom Graffiti 6
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of environment advertisement
Washroom Graffiti 7
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!

Washroom Graffiti 8
Seen above a urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

Washroom Graffiti 9
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance.

Washroom Graffiti 10
A sign at a swimming pool bathroom:
We don't swim in your toilet, so please
don't pee in our pool!

Washroom Graffiti 11
Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.

This should teach you a lesson
Washroom Graffiti 12
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your
food...please aim properly.

Feb 17, 2009

The Chewing Gum Joke

A friend emailed this joke to me:

A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia ..He was having his coffee, croissant, bread, butter & jam at the hotel's coffee house.

A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him & started a casual conversation.

Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian : "We don't. In Malaysia , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore ."

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.

Malaysian : "Do you eat the jam with the bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian (chuckling): "We don't. In Malaysia , we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-over in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam, before we sell it across to Singapore ."

This time, the Singaporean retorted : "Do you have sex in Malaysia ?"

Malaysian : "Why, of course we do"
Singaporean : "Do you wear protection"

Malaysian : "Of course! We wear condoms."
Singaporean : "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Malaysian : "Stupid question ! Of course we throw them away."

Singaporean : "We don't. In Singapore , the government secretly puts them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum & sell them across to Malaysia ,... & that's the real reason why we banned chewing gum in Singapore ."

Feb 14, 2009

Keeping Romance Affordable

In the present global financial crisis, cutting cost has become a way of life, not only for corporations and the rich, but more so for working class people like us. But cutting cost doesn't mean cutting corner in romancing your other half on this Valentines day. All the more, you need to woo in style during a downturn to keep the spirit up and the flame of love burning bright.

What you need is to put in some thoughts and a little more DIY effort in creating a fun and memorable Valentines day for the two of you. Enjoy the simpler things in life, and count your blessing you have each other for companionship.

Here are some suggestions how you can celebrate Valentines day on the cheap:

Drop by the library

In the air-conditioning comfort of either the central or the neighborhood library, you can browse the shelves for your favourite reads, or book the audio visual facility to watch a documentary or listen to some good music together. At some libraries, there might be some free events like talks and concerts going on.

Cook at home
With a cookbook borrowed from the library, pick a recipe, shop for the ingredients and prepare a meal together. Not all of us are born great cooks, but cooking is great bonding for couples and if the food turns out great, that will be a bonus!

Go for a walk
A walk in the park, the botanical garden or by the beach will be great, window-shopping in shopping mall will be no-no. Enjoying the greenery or the sea breeze is free, and you get some exercise done.Have a picnic
This is an extension of the walk in the park or botanical garden. Before you head to the park, detour to the supermarket and pick up your picnic basket. Better still, choose a venue with free outdoor concerts or dance performances.

Shop at garage sales
Go bargain hunting at garage sales. To up the fun quotient, choose a theme, e.g. pirates, and fashion each other in that style.

Tough times call for tough measures and there is no rules cast in stone that says only the biggest diamond gift or the glitziest dinner date will be able to proclaim your undying love for each other. The important thing is to show our love and appreciation for each other in good and bad times, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

Feb 3, 2009

Another Year Older

and WISER, I hope...

Happy Birthday to myself.