Toilet Poems

Graffiti 1
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Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole
the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or
shall I be forced to use my finger.


Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this....
Washroom Graffiti 2
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Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted


Some one who had a different experience wrote
Washroom Graffiti 3
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You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!


Perhaps it is true that people get inspiration in toilets
Washroom Graffiti 4
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I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.


There are also people who come in for a different purpose
Washroom Graffiti 5
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Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...


Toilets walls are also job advertisement places.......
Washroom Graffiti 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Singapore Fire Department wants you.


Ministry of environment advertisement
Washroom Graffiti 7
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please!


Washroom Graffiti 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seen above a urinal:
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!


Washroom Graffiti 9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance.


Washroom Graffiti 10
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sign at a swimming pool bathroom:
We don't swim in your toilet, so please
don't pee in our pool!


Washroom Graffiti 11
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.


This should teach you a lesson
Washroom Graffiti 12
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Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your
food...please aim properly.

The Chewing Gum Joke

A friend emailed this joke to me:

A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia ..He was having his coffee, croissant, bread, butter & jam at the hotel's coffee house.

A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him & started a casual conversation.

Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian : "We don't. In Malaysia , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore ."

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.

Malaysian : "Do you eat the jam with the bread?"
Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian (chuckling): "We don't. In Malaysia , we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-over in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam, before we sell it across to Singapore ."

This time, the Singaporean retorted : "Do you have sex in Malaysia ?"

Malaysian : "Why, of course we do"
Singaporean : "Do you wear protection"

Malaysian : "Of course! We wear condoms."
Singaporean : "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Malaysian : "Stupid question ! Of course we throw them away."

Singaporean : "We don't. In Singapore , the government secretly puts them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum & sell them across to Malaysia ,... & that's the real reason why we banned chewing gum in Singapore ."